


Baby, You're a Firework

by heyjupiter



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Still Powered, Gen, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-10
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-18 09:35:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/878342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howlett and Hercules celebrate the legal adoption of their daughter Jubilee, eat a lot of steak, and fret about daycare. Jubilee frets about chicken fingers and Angry Birds, mostly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby, You're a Firework

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pocky_slash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocky_slash/gifts).



> This is a birthday gift for pocky_slash! It's late, but who cares, because time is just a manmade construct anyway.
> 
> It's kind of an unauthorized [Daycare Verse](http://archiveofourown.org/series/9224)-adjacent fic, which if you're not already familiar with Daycare Verse for some reason, is an AU where Charles and Moira run a daycare for adorable baby mutants. Also if you're not familiar with Howlett and Hercules they're basically the X-Treme X-Men version of Wolverine and Hercules. And they're canonical lovers. Jubilee's not in X-Treme X-Men but she totally should have been.
> 
> Also the title is from Katy Perry's song "Firework" because duh.
> 
> OK BYE, end of note

"Excuse me, would you do us the honor of taking our photograph?" Herc asked, after their waiter delivered two large mugs of beer.

"Uh, yeah, no problem," the waiter said. He was still charmed, as most people were, by the incongruity between Herc's friendly giant appearance and his precisely accented formal speech. Howlett suspected it wouldn't take long for their family to wear out their welcome, however.

"Excellent!" Herc said. He beamed and carefully handed over a smart phone that looked comically small in his big hands.

"Angry Birds," Jubilee said, clapping her hands.

"Sorry, darlin', you've already melted enough electronics this week," Howlett said.

The waiter blinked, then said, "Um, say cheese?"

Howlett and Hercules turned and smiled, but Jubilee yelled, "Pizza!" The resultant photo showed her mouth open mid-shout.

"Uh... let me take another one," the waiter said.

Howlett surveyed the small screen and said, "We look like what we look like."

"Our first portrait as a family. Legally," Herc said.

Howlett shrugged. "We were a family before that piece of paper."

"My husband, the philosopher," Herc said fondly.

The waiter cleared his throat and said, "Um, so, are you ready to order, then?"

"Yes. I will have your finest 36 ounce Porterhouse, served rare."

"Do you want baked potato or a salad?"

"Potato, please."

The waiter turned to Howlett who grunted, "Same."

"All right... and for the little lady?"

"Chicken fingers!" Jubilee said.

"I'm sorry, chicken fingers aren't on our menu," the waiter said.

"Chicken fingers!" Jubilee repeated.

"We're a steakhouse," the waiter said.

"I don't like steak, I like chicken fingers," Jubilee asked.

Howlett sighed. "Maybe one day you'll appreciate the finer things in life," he muttered. Then he asked the waiter, "Can't you go get her some chicken fingers?"

"You... want me to leave this restaurant and go get her chicken fingers from another restaurant?" the waiter asked.

"Yeah. Or they could deliver. I don't care how they get here," Howlett said with a shrug. Howlett tended not to charm waiters. It wasn't high on his list of priorities.

"We'll compensate you accordingly, of course," Herc added with his most charming smile. "It's just a very special occasion. Our adoption is finalized!"

Howlett felt Jubilee surreptitiously reaching in his roomy jacket pocket, and he gently redirected her from his fried cell phone and handed her a box of crayons. She scowled and said, " _Angry Birds,_ Daddy," but she took the crayons anyway, turning her cloth napkin into an abstract representation of fireworks.

The waiter finally wilted under the power of the gazes he was receiving and said, "Fine, I'll... get some chicken fingers."

"Sweet and sour," Jubilee said, not looking up from her artwork.

"And sweet and sour sauce... of course," the waiter said through gritted teeth.

"Thank the nice man, sweetest," Herc said.

"Thankoo," Jubilee said.

"Is... there anything else I can do for you?" the waiter asked.

"Nother beer," Howlett said.

The waiter furrowed his brow but said nothing when he realized Howlett's mug was already empty.

"Right away, sir."

Herc coughed, and Howlett added, "Thanks." They'd talked about modeling good manners for Jubilee. Howlett tried. When he was reminded.

The waiter nodded and retreated to the kitchen with a barely-contained eyeroll.

"Now Jubilee, our life is about to change, but we want you to know that your daddy and I both love you very much," said Herc, who had been Jubilee's full-time stay-at-home father during the foster process and had read a lot of books about adopting children.

"Yup," said Howlett, who hadn't. He sipped his second beer.

"Remember, your daddy and I are both going to work full time at our jobs, which means we won't get to spend all day at home with you anymore. But instead, you'll get to spend every day at that lovely daycare we visited last month, with all the other children like you."

Jubilee considered this. "They had good snacks there."

"Yes! Excellent snacks," Herc said. "And plenty of games and activities and other children to play with."

"Do you think they have Goldfish crackers every day?"

Herc sighed, and Howlett smiled. "Our girl knows her priorities," he said.

"I am sure there will be a multitude of delightful snacks provided for you each day, sweetest," Herc said.

"Okay," Jubilee said, uncharacteristically quiet.

Howlett noted the quiet but said nothing. Herc talked through the quiet, exuberantly detailing the state of the art program and the friendliness of the other kids and the charm of the day care director. Eventually, he was interrupted by the return of the waiter, who distributed two large slabs of meat and a plate of chicken fingers and fries.

"Will there be anything else?" the waiter asked.

Howlett considered his half-empty beer and said, "Nah." Herc cleared his throat loudly and Howlett added, "Thanks."

"Of course. Enjoy your meal."

"I am certain that we will," Herc said. "Thank you kindly."

The waiter nodded and left them. Herc and Howlett both ate their meat steadily and with great pleasure. Jubilee drew on her plate with sweet and sour sauce.

Herc said, "Jubilee, if you aren't hungry, we can save your food for later."

Howlett said, "What's wrong, darlin'? You love chicken fingers." Jubilee loved food--if not steak--and rarely missed a meal.

Jubilee licked sauce off her fingers and said, "If I try really hard to stop wrecking your stuff do I still have to go away?"

Howlett and Herc looked at each other, both feeling gutpunched. Howlett raised his eyebrows, indicating that Herc should answer.

"I thought you understood," he said. "That is what your daddy and I have been working on, making sure that you are part of our family forever. Officially."

Howlett said, "Tomorrow you'll start daycare. Just for the day, see? Every night your pop or me'll pick you up and take you back home."

Jubilee considered this. "Like Sid the Science Kid?"

Herc beamed. "Yes!"

Howlett looked at Herc and mouthed, "Who?" Herc shook his head minutely, and Howlett shrugged and said, "Is that what you were worried about, darlin'? That we would send you away?"

She looked up at him with an oddly teenager-ish expression of _duh_ , and Howlett said, "Well, we would _never_ , and if anybody tried to take you away from us, I would--"

Herc coughed loudly, and Howlett finished, "--take them to court. And not let them have any ice cream cake."

"Ice cream cake?"

"Only after you finish your chicken fingers," Howlett said. Jubilee pouted.

"We should not use food as a bargaining chip," Herc said. "I read it."

"Yeah, fine, we'll all have ice cream cake when we get home," Howlett said. "Jubes, if you don't want your chicken, can I have it?"

"It's cold," she said dubiously.

Howlett shrugged and popped a piece in his mouth.

"Wait, don't eat it all!"

Howlett raised his hands. "It's yours if you want it, darlin'."

She ate the rest of her chicken fingers (cold and greasy and still delicious, in Howlett's opinion) without another word. Herc carefully explained, "In the morning you'll go to daycare--like how Sid the Science Kid goes to school--and daddy will go to work at the gym, and I'll go to work at my office, and at night we'll all go home."

"Sometimes

They paid their bill (including a more-than-generous tip for the waiter) and went home for an evening of ice cream cake, bedtime stories, and reassurances about the new daycare.

After Jubilee was soundly asleep and her fathers were out on the balcony sharing a cigar, Howlett asked Herc, "What the hell is Sid the Science Kid?"

"It's on public television."

"Ah," Howlett said, as if that explained everything.

Herc added, "Sid goes to school and does science, and then comes home and...does more science."

"Sounds... informative."

Herc nodded, then stared off into the night sky for a long moment and said, "We are doing right by Jubilee, are we not?"

Surprised, Howlett said, "Course. She's better of with us than some other foster home. You know that, don't you?"

"I mean--the daycare? Maybe she's too young."

"They had kids younger than Jubilee."

"But Jubilee is different."

Howlett took a long puff of the cigar. "I think a lot of mutant kids have probably been through some shit," he said, passing it back to Herc. "But I think if anything, that Xavier guy might be better at helping her than we are. Better than me, anyway."

Herc said, "You do not give yourself enough credit, my love."

Howlett shrugged. "Anyway, let's give it a try. If she hates the daycare, we can... figure something out. I can go part time at the gym. Or quit. I know you'll have your hands full at work for awhile, at least until the New York office gets up and running."

"Or we could close the whole thing down and move to Greece," Herc said dreamily.

"We'll call that Plan B," Howlett said. "New York's not that bad." He actually hated New York, but he loved Herc and he knew that the family business was important to him.

"I must be in a dour mood if _you_ are telling me something is not that bad," Herc said with a crooked smile.

"Well, it ain't," Howlett said. "You got a cool kid, a good family business, and me, for whatever that's worth. So we're in a new city. So we're starting the kid in day care. So what? We've been through worse."

"So we have," Herc replied. "Ah, Howlett, you have the wisdom of the ages."

"I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do best is dispense wisdom," Howlett said.

"Your skills are underutilized at the gym," Herc said.

Howlett shrugged. "I give out plenty of wisdom to my clients." He taught self-defense and gave personal training, and his last manager had described his style as "terrifying, but effective." A certain type of gym clientele seemed to enjoy his lessons, and they certainly benefited from them physically. Howlett finished the cigar and put the butt in the ashtray. "Let's go to bed."

"Another wise idea," Herc said.

That night all three of them slept poorly, but the next morning Howlett and Herc still managed to drop a bravely sassy Jubilee off at daycare and make it to their respective jobs on time. They'd arranged their schedules to be able to drop her off and pick her up together, at least for the first week. Howlett even had time to shower before leaving the gym and still made it to the daycare before Herc, who has a long commute from his Manhattan office. He paced in the parking lot, not wanting to walk in alone. Finally, Herc, looking quite attractive in his bespoke suit, approached. He gave Howlett a kiss and a nervous smile, and they went inside to reclaim their daughter.

Jubilee lit up, figuratively and literally, to see them. "Oops!" she said.

Charles, the head daycare teacher, smiled indulgently. "It's all right, Jubilee, we're all just practicing how to use our powers here. Hello, Herc, Howlett," he said, nodding at them in turn.

"How was your first day, darlin?" Howlett asked.

"It was really fun! We ate snacks and played outside and played inside and Mr. Charles is really nice and Miss Moira is really pretty and Ororo is my new best friend but she went home already so maybe you can meet her tomorrow and maybe she can come over for a playdate sometime and also I made this," she said, handing over a sheet of paper dripping with glue and macaroni.

Howlett and Herc peered at it, but Howlett was the first to recognize it. "You made a family portrait?" he asked. "Out of noodles?"

"Yeah! It's you and Papa and me and also the dog that we should get. The dog's name is Fetch and she plays fetch with me all the time."

"We shall... see about that, sweetest," Herc said. "So you had a good day?"

"Yeah! It was super fun! If we can't get a dog can we get a bird? Or a pig?"

"Thank you, Charles," Herc said gratefully. "It is wonderful to know that Jubilee is well looked after."

"It was our pleasure, truly," Charles said. "We'll see you tomorrow morning, then?"

"Do we have to go home?" Jubilee asked.

Herc said, "We will return tomorrow morning, Jubilee."

Howlett said, "There's still ice cream cake at home," and Jubilee waved goodbye to the daycare and followed her fathers out to the car. At home, Howlett put Jubilee's portrait on the fridge, and Jubilee almost immediately smeared ice cream fingerprints on it. She was distraught about it until Herc told her she could make another one at daycare the next day. After Jubilee fell asleep, Howlett went to get a beer out of the fridge and found himself staring at the almost indecipherable work of art and marveling at the tiny chocolate fingerprints. Herc finally came to see what was taking him so long, and gave him a fond smile when he noticed what Howlett was looking at.

"You are a--what do they say?--a sap, Howlett," he said.

"Yeah, yeah, just don't tell anybody, will you?" Howlett said gruffly.

"I would not dream of it," Herc said, bending down for a kiss that briefly made Howlett forget his desire for beer. Then they were interrupted by a _paf_ and a shriek and a reminder that they were living with a mutant toddler. 

"I believe it is your turn," Herc said. "But I will accompany you, because I find you rather fetching."

They found her in the living room. She'd snuck out of bed to watch television, and accidentally fried it.

"I didn't mean to!" Jubilee said, looking guilty.

Howlett shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to read more books around here."

Juiblee, sensing she wasn't in trouble, asked, "Will you read me a story before I go back to bed?"

"Just one," Howlett said. He turned to follow Jubilee back to her bedroom and caught Herc mouthing "sap" at him.


End file.
